in a minute”. “Ok start again from the beginning, who is coming to get you and for what”. “Mom and Dad, they are taking me to the Vets and the Vet is going to force feed me Worm morphing into tablets” I yelled. Mona then made a couple of derogatory comments about me needing to lose a couple of pounds.

So I’ll just describe what happened next. A frightening look of delight slowly appear over Mona’s face as she said that she could keep me in a worm habitat and feed me leaves and apple cores and use my room for her toys. This plan didn’t go down to well with me, at all (and I apologize now to all doggy kind for what I did next) but all I could say to her in a slightly whiny voice was “I don’t want to be a worm”, which had to travel through a mask of sniffles and tears.

At this point Mona could see that it wasn’t a joke to me and had one of her cunning plans. “It’s obvious” she said “You should change place with a teddy of mine”. Not really that cunning if you ask me but we were short on time and worth a shot. The plan starts with us finding a cuddly toy that looks enough like me, which Mona describe as long but short and quiet fat, which I instantly corrected her description by saying it needs to be elegantly long, petite and gorgeously full bodied, she didn’t correct me but I could see that she bit her tongue. “Next step take your ears off and stick them to the teddy”, she said. When hearing this part of the plan I turned to Mona to ask her “how we were going to get my ear’s off”. Mona stood